Christmas Eve

The amaryllis made it! It looks beautiful on my buffet table, flanked with poinsettias. All is ready for tomorrow. Someone will pick up my MIL at 12:30, while my DIL and I cook dinner.
We'll have our deli turkey and microwave fixin's, then open our presents. Then we can pig out on leftovers for supper.

DH took me out to a local taco place for supper tonight. I have felt depressed and restless all day. I took Monty for a walk, even though it was drizzling. I just needed to get out of the house. Tacos may seem strange for Christmas Eve dinner, but I don't care for tamales--which is the normal holiday dish here in South Texas.

I can't help but remember Christmas with my mother and family. (My dad stayed out of the way, mostly.) My mother loved jigsaw puzzles, and my sisters and I would gather around the card table every holiday to help her with the puzzle and catch up with each other's lives. I became very good at jigsaw puzzles, and have several of them. I love to do them, but to leave them on the table for a day or two takes up too much room. I do them on the computer now. After the puzzle was finished, my brothers would join in and we would play hearts, or spades, or dominoes until it was time to go to bed. We still play dominoes whenever we get together--usually Mexican Train with double 12's or 15's. The Christmas tree was a 6 foot aluminum tree with a color wheel (I still have the color wheel. Wish I had the tree, too.)
I never felt closer to my siblings than when we were gathered around the card table.

My DH doesn't play cards or do puzzles. I tried to teach my sons to like puzzles, but it didn't work. So the puzzles stay in the closet. I have forgotten how to play hearts and spades. I know now why old folks seem like fuddy-duddies--no one will play with them anymore! I miss just having fun.

I apologize for seeming so maudlin, but that's what Christmas does to me. I hope anyone who reads this has a wonderful, happy holiday and a healthy and prosperous New Year!

Turkey for Five

John went to see "We Are Marshall" tonight, and thought it was very good. I wasn't interested in seeing the kind of grief and devastation the whole town suffered back in 1971. I can't begin to imagine what it must have been like for the survivors, especially those who missed taking the flight by chance. I prefer comedies or animated films to dramas. I want to see "Night at the Museum" or "Happy Feet." I stayed home and watched "Mary Poppins" on TV instead. I love the music and no matter how often I watch it, I still get the shivers when "Feed the Birds" comes on.

We had intended to find a restaurant to eat Christmas dinner at this year, as we have in years past. I called Luby's--they will be closed. I called The Torch, a restaurant run by a Greek Orthodox family--they will be open, but we really can't afford the $70 it would cost for the five of us. So I went to the grocery store, bought 2.5 lbs. of thick-sliced deli turkey breast, two packages of pre-made mashed potatoes, two jars of chicken gravy, two boxes of stuffing, and two packages of rolls, as well as a pecan pie and a lemon crunch cake. It cost about $35. We will have a semi-homemade Christmas meal, and leftovers, to boot!

Reminiscence

The amaryllis is trying hard to do its thing. I'm hoping that it will be fully open on Christmas, at least two flowers anyway. Another stem appears to be emerging from the bulb, or it could be a bunch of leaves. It puts out so much effort for just a few days of bloom.

I find myself thinking about my mother, who died of cancer on Christmas Eve, 1980. My siblings and I were all by her side. Christmas has not been the same since. I often get depressed this time of year, and this year has been no different. Despite the 26 year distance the memories are as clear as if it happened yesterday. When contemplating this, I realized that I have very clear memories of the bad things that have occurred in my life. I can still feel the hurt, embarassment, humiliation, and sadness from nearly every adverse episode I have been through; but I remember very few good times. This is not to say that there weren't very many good times---I just don't remember them. This is very odd. Somehow I just don't seem to lay down those memories as strongly as I do the painful ones. Is this normal? Is there a psychological basis for this? I'm sure Freud would have a field day with me.

My mother and I were very close. She was a wonderful woman who had a very hard life. She rarely had a bad word to say about anyone. The pain of her death was of long duration for all of us. I wonder if any of my siblings still thinks about her this time of year.

One of my nieces is in the hospital tonight, bringing her firstborn into the world. Would that this happy event could replace the memory of that night of vigil 26 years ago. I hope that it does, at least for her parents.

Maya Angelou wrote: "I answer the heroic question 'Death, where is thy sting?' with 'It is here in my heart and mind and memories.'" How true.

Waiting for Amaryllis

This Amaryllis is hopefully going to bloom in time for Christmas. We think it's a variety called "Red Lion," but we'll have to wait to see. My husband is growing these beauties from seed! Not this particular one, he got a bulb for this one. But he has dozens of seedlings about two inches tall. It takes three years for the plant to make a bulb this size. This is his new hobby--growing plants from seed to sell to nurseries and florists later.

He has never really had a hobby before, not in nearly 27 years of marriage. I, on the other hand, have had more than I can count, starting with stamp collecting and running the gamut of crafts and needlework, depending on what was "in" at the time. I enjoyed each one until I had mastered it to my own satisfaction. Then it held no interest for me anymore. If I keep this up, by the time I die I will be an incredibly talented woman. I do return to a past hobby occasionally, so I always keep all my books and magazines and equipment; this is why I have a 10' x 10' storage unit that I pay rent for every month.

We went to our favorite pancake restaurant tonight.(we all hop for ....) Last week we got there after six p.m. and it was really pretty dark outside, but their outside lights were off. Being good citizens, we informed them of this only to be told that the lights were still on Daylight Savings Time. Huh? Sure enough, at 6:30, all the lights came on. Okay....

Six More Days...

I got two lovely fabric postcards in the mail today, from swaps. I thought I'd share some of these with you. The first photo is of the Christmas Bells swap, the top card is the one I made.
The other photo is the Holiday Candles swap, again--the top one is mine. The red one is hard to see, but a candle was drawn on it with glitter pens. ....Okay, I uploaded the pictures and they reversed their order for some reason. Oh well, most people can tell candles from bells. If you can't, lay off the eggnog.

I have the candle cards displayed on my bookshelf next to the Jim Shore snowman ornaments. That's it for my decorating this year. Ho, Ho, Ho. I'm really not a Scrooge, but I will be glad when Christmas has come and gone and the stress is all over.

What does the dog want for Christmas?

Okay, I finally got the last couple of Christmas gifts today. You know, the last minute, did I get this person enough, guilt relieving gifts that finally let you sleep easy. I would always like to have spent more money on my loved ones, but this year has been hard on the pocketbook. Thankfully, I think they all understand, and most are in the same boat.

My older son is taking his wife and three kids to Disney World for Christmas this year. Talk about a glutton for punishment! but, oh, how I would have loved to do that with my boys when they were young. They opened their gifts early, and the toddler enjoyed the wrapping paper most of all.

We had tuna sandwiches for supper, and they were awesome, as always. I make killer tuna salad sandwiches, in my own humble opinion. Want the recipe? here goes:

2 small cans of tuna packed in water, drained
2 hard-boiled eggs, chopped
2 tablespoons sweet pickle relish
2 tablespoons finely chopped onion, or to taste
enough Miracle Whip (or the light version) to make it all smooth
soft white bread

Stir all this together until smooth, and pile it on the bread. I dare you to eat just one sandwich!
Optional ingredients: chopped pecans, finely chopped apple, chopped celery, grated carrot
(pick one or two.) Serve with chips. Yummy!

I realized when I got home from shopping that I had intended to get a gift for Monty, but forgot.
What do you get the dog that has everything? He inherited a large number of toys that he doesn't play with. He'll eat almost anything that doesn't eat him first, including pickles off of hamburgers (although he doesn't care for onions or lettuce.) My DIL fed him spaghetti for supper--he nearly broke his neck getting off the couch to follow her to the kitchen. A rawhide bone doesn't last him any time at all. I usually get him a new collar, but he doesn't really need one. He won't wear reindeer antlers or jingle bells. I did buy a bone-shaped cookie cutter a couple of weeks ago--I guess I should make him some home-made dog cookies.

I sent my Red Hat Society friends their Christmas cards today. I sent e-cards to the ones who have e-mail, and regular cards to the rest. I have to recommend a website that has the greatest animated cards I've ever seen--www.jacquielawson.com. They require a membership, but it's inexpensive, and the cards are worth it. No affiliation, yadda, yadda.

Ready for Christmas

This is my husband's dog, Monty. He's 12, and sits right next to John as much as possible. He started out as my dog, but since I'm the one that shoves his pills down his throat, he switched allegiances.

Am I the only one who gets upset at all the advertising for gifts that aren't readily available? Seems like false advertising to continue ads when they know they can't possibly meet the demand with the supply. I pre-ordered a video game from a national retailer, now it's on back order and they don't know whether they'll have any in by Christmas or not. I think the companies are doing it on purpose as a marketing ploy, to drum up a buying frenzy and media coverage. Bah, Humbug!

I sent out the last package today. The postage this year has come close to exceeding the value of the gifts! One box cost me over $30 to mail. Next year may see a return to gift cards. At least they are cheap to send.

I haven't done any decorating for the holidays this year, other than to display some of my Christmas fabric postcards. Someday I hope to have a bigger house, one that is more conducive to holiday decorating. I have an entire Christmas village that I'd love to display, but I don't even own a dining table to put it on.

When the boys were young, my husband and I would load them in the car on Christmas Eve and drive around looking at the Christmas lights. Some homes here have really elaborate displays. There is a 75 foot tree made of garland and lights on the Bayfront downtown, and a lot of the shrimpers decorate their boats in the marina. South Texans really get into Christmas!
Our finances don't run to nonessentials right now.

My husband has a rare form of colon cancer; fortunately a very slow-growing type. He is realizing that his body is not as sturdy as it once was. A couple of weeks ago, he fell off a ladder while cutting down a tree trunk in our backyard. He cracked some ribs and has been very sore since then, and is banned for life from climbing ladders! So no Christmas lights for us, even though we already have them in the garage.

Happy Hanukkah to all our Jewish friends!

New Beginnings

So many friends have started blogging that I thought I would start a blog for myself. Who would want to read my thoughts and ideas? No one with a life... but it may give me a way to stay in touch with family and friends who are far away. I can show them the projects I am working on. I can let them know what is going on in my life. I have never been very good at keeping a journal or diary--I start one almost every year, but after a couple of weeks I forget to write. I hope I can do better here.
Since January my craft of choice has been creating fabric postcards. I have been swapping them online, and have four photo boxes full. What will I ever do with all these little works of art? My attention span says it's time to move on to new activities.
My cable company has started showing a new channel called Create. I love it--it's kind of like HGTV meets PBS. Where else could you see how-to programs on sewing, cooking, stained glass, scrapbooking, gardening, home repair and painting all on one channel? I get nostalgic watching the late Bob Ross painting happy little trees. He is just so Zen.
My newest focus is decorative painting with Donna Dewberry's program. I have bought lots of books, paints, and equipment and have experimented with her techniques; it really is easy.
I know every instructor says that, and makes it look easy. But if I can paint something recognizable, anybody can do it. I haven't had enough time to do any real projects, just kind of doodling with it. Once Christmas is over, I intend to practice regularly.
You may be wondering about the name of this blog. When my sons were little, one of them came home with some choice four-letter words he learned at school. When he was informed that those words were unacceptable, he asked me what he should say when he gets really frustrated or angry. I told him to make up a word or phrase that was his own private "cuss" word, but would not be offensive to anyone else. He couldn't think of anything, so I gave him "Fudge Buckets" as an example. I have used it ever since!